My Blog

A priest in a small rural town was very fond of the 10
chickens and one
handsome cock rooster he kept in a hen house behind the rectory.

One Saturday night, the priest discovered that the cock rooster was
missing. At the same time the priest heard rumors of cockfights being held in
town.

During Mass, he asked the congregation: "Who among you will confess
to
sporting a handsome cock?" All
the men stood up.

"No, No," he said. "That’s not what I mean. Who among
you will confess
to having seen a handsome cock?" All
the women stood up.

"Oh no!" he said. "That’s not what I man, either. Who
among you will
confess to having seen a cock that doesn’t belong to you?" Half
the
women stood up.

"Oh Lord," he said. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question:
Has anybody
seen my cock?" All the altar
boys stood up

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an
audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked,

"how heavy is this glass of water? "
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. 

The lecturer replied,

The absolute weight doesn’t matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

"If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem." 

"If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my
right arm."

"If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an
ambulance." 

"In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I
hold it,
the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that’s the way it is with stress
management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
we will not be able to carry on. " 

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down
for a while
and rest before holding it again. When we are refreshed,
we can carry on with the burden. " 

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of
work down.
Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever
burdens
you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.
"

"Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested.
Life is short. Enjoy it! And then he shared some ways of

dealing with the burdens of life: 

* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days
you’re the
statue. 

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you
have to eat
them. 

* Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled
by their maker.

* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be
vague. 

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was
probably worth it. 

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to
serve as a
warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can’t push. 

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you
won’t have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and
dance. 

* Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird,
sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese. 

* When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong
lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer
you live. 

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also
be the
world to one person. 

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp,
some
are pretty and some are dull Some have weird names,
and all are different colors,
but they all have to live in the same box.

" A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery
on a detour.”

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about
you today.
.. . . . I did.

My mother used to ask me:
"What is the most important part of the body?" 
Through the years I would take a guess at
what I thought was the correct answer.
When I was younger, I thought sound
was very important to us as humans,
so I said, "My ears, Mom." 

  She said, "No.
Many people are deaf. 
But you keep thinking about it and 
I will ask you again soon." 

  Several years passed
before she asked me again. 
Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated
the correct answer.  So this time I told
her, "Mom,
sight is very important to everybody,
so it must be our eyes. 

  She looked at me and
told me,
"You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct
because there are many people who are blind." 

  Stumped again, I continued
my quest for knowledge. 
Over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times
and always her answer was, "No, but you are getting
smarter every year, my child." 

  Then last year, my
grandpa died. Everybody was hurt.
Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember
that especially because it was only the second time
I saw him cry.  My Mom looked at me when it was
our turn
to say our final good-bye to Grandpa. 

  She asked me, "Do
you know the most important body
part yet, my dear?" I was shocked when she asked me this now.
I always thought this was a game between her and me. 

  She saw the confusion
on my face and told me,
"This question is very important. It shows that you have really
lived in your life. For every body part gave me in the past,
I have told you were wrong and have given you an example why.
But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson." 

  She looked down at
me as only a mother can. I saw her
eyes well up with tears.  She said. "My dear, the most important
body part is
your shoulder." 

  I asked, "Is it
because it holds up my head?" She replied, "No, it is 
because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. 
Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only 
hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have 
a shoulder to cry on when you need it." 

  Then and there I knew
the most important body part is not a selfish 
one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others. People will forget what 
you said. . . 

  People will forget
what you did. . . But people will NEVER forget
how you made them feel. 

  True or not, the story
makes you stop and think. Be blessed. 
Be a blessing.  Get your shoulder ready . . . and share this message
to everybody you know.  They also need to know.

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has
not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation
and that the
Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided
to walk up to his
HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings,
he told his HR Manager
his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed
and asked him to sit down
saying; Myfriend, you have not worked here
for even one day. The man was surprised
to hear this, but the manager
went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days,
how many
days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that14
days from the 18 days left. How many days
do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company
money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR
HELP!!!
HR = HIGH RISK

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions
at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase
as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch…..
you may choose any man from a particular  floor, or you may choose
to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit  the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to Find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
EXTREMELY good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled
to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
goodlooking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,
"I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that
women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day!

This MESSAGE is dedicated to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who
can handle the truth!

Remember, Greed is one of the seven deadly sins.

"You have to learn to be grateful for what you have to get more. When
you are ungrateful you end up with nothing."

Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy"
Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o
"bakokang"

Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa
"tension and stress"
Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo"

Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay
"kleptomaniac"
Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan"

Pag mayaman ka, you’re "eccentric"
Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o
"may sayad"

Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may
"migraine"
Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit an
g ulo
mo, ikaw ay
"nalipasan ng gutom"

Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is
"scoliotic"
Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba"

Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena"
o "kayumanggi"
Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o
"negrita" o "baluga" o "tsimay"

Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag
sa iyo ay "petite"
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot" o
"unano" o "jabbar"

Kung socialite ka, i! kaw ay "pleasingly plump"
Kapag mahirap ka at ika’y mataba, "tabatsoy" o
"lumba-lumba"…pagminamalas ka, "baboy"

Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang
tawag sa iyo ay "game"
Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "pakawala" o "pam-pam"

Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay
"liberated"
Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo "malandi"

Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo "single parent"
Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo
"disgrasyada"

Ang tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain,
"vegetarian"
Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na " kumakain ng damo."

Sa exclusive school, "assertive" ang mga batang
sumasagot sa mga
guro
Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa
mga guro, ang tawag sa kanila ay "walang hiya"

Ang mayamang tumatanda, "are graduating gracefully
into senior citizenhood"
Ang mga mahihirap ay "gumugurang"

Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner"
Ang anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gung-gong"

Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter
your host who says, "masarap kang kumain and I like
you, you do justice to my cooking"
Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the
same house, your host will say to himself na ikaw ay
"patay-gutom" o "hampaslupa" o "masiba"

Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa PC mo, "okay lang"

Pero
kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay"
nagbubulakbol"…

ANG
BUHAY SINGLE

Bakit
ba tuwing may "get2geder" ang mga tao,

mapa-family
reunion man or

simpleng
barkada gimik,

ang
unang tanong sayo ay

"May
boyfriend ka ba?"

at
bago ka pa maka-sagot ay maririnig mo naman ang

"Bakett
walaaaaaa??!"

Hayyy,
kelangan ba talagang may bitbit kang boylet sa

mga occasions na ito?

Pano kung wala talaga?

Alanganamang maki-usap pa ako sa

mga
"close" guy friends ko

para
mag-panggap na "kami"?!

Di
naman ata tama yun, dee-bah?

                                                             
             How I wish na sana

                                                  mas maintindihan ng mga tao

na
sa mga panahon ngayon

ay

"accepted"
na sa society na MEDYO made-delay

ang
pag-iisang dibdib ng mga kababaihan.. 

especially
girls like me

who
want to get into so many things

all
at the same time.

I
also wish that people would understand that

OKAY
LANG AKO

and
the rest of

THE
SAMAHANG MALAMIG ANG PASKO… 

Valentines
day.. 

Birthday..etc.

I
mean, we do get lonely once in a while.. 

naiingit
din dun sa may mga LOVELIFE…

paminsan-minsan? 

kung
minsan naman ay nagmumuni sa mga

past
kilig moments? 

but
these lonely moments

do
not and will not

make
our "world" stop…

Isipin
nyo nalang, na kung wala kaming mga single

friends
nyo,

eh
di wala kayong paghihingaan ng sama ng loob

tuwing
nag-aaway kayo ng boylet or girlet nyo? 

wala
rin kayong "instant date" 

kung
sakaling nangailangan kayo?… 

wala
rin kayong mahihila sa mall

para
maghanap ng magandang regalo

for
your better-half pag xmas… 

 o
kaya pag bday nya? 

at
ang pinaka-mahalaga sa lahat,

wala
kayong KAKAMPI

if
things between you and your labidabs

don’t
work out.

Marami
naman sa aming mga singles

ay
nakaranas na rin na "ma-in-love".. 

yun
nga lang,

obvious
ba?????????? 

it
all didn’t work out!

Pero di naman kami "bitter" o galit
sa mundo? 

and
totoo nga nyan eh 

mas
lumalalim ang kahulugan ng

"love"

para
sa min.

When
you’re all by yourself,

there’s
more time to reflect

and

think
what you really want it life.

Mas naiisip mo kung ano ba talaga

ang
makakapagbigay ng tunay na ligaya sayo… 

at
mas naiisip mo kung pano

matutupad
ang lahat ng mga pangarap mo.

And
while reflecting,

we
also get to imagine that we will,

one
day…. 

end
up with someone

who
will share those dreams with us.

Di
naman sa nang-iinggit ako pero

masaya
rin ang buhay naming mga single…

Biruin
mo we can go out with anybody,

anytime..that
is.

We
can get into all kinds of things.. 

like
go to the gym regularly.. 

or
get into all kinds of sports… 

or
any "Self-enhancement" programs, etc… 

Mejo
tipid din ang buhay single

kasi
la naman kaming po-problemahin tuwing

Valentines
day or Christmas? 

o
diba ang saya?

Sa
palagay ko naman ay lahat tayo ay

may
karapatang sumaya ke single man

o
attached ka.

I
guess may kanya-kanya lang tayong

panahong
lumigaya at

Diyos
lamang ang makapagsasabi… 

kung
kelan nga dadating

and
oras na yon.

So,
para sa mga kasalukuyang "ATTACHED",

I
wish you all the luck and happiness.

Should
there be any problems,

don’t
forget

that
your SINGLE friends

are
always here for you!!!!!

Sa
mga "bagong SINGLES" naman,

wag
nang magmukmok!

Enjoy
life…. 

enjoy
the single life!!!

There
are a lot of things that you will still discover.

At
tandaan mo,

DI
KA NAG-IISA!!! 

madami-dami
tayo..hehehehe

At
dun naman sa kapwa kong mga SINGLES? 

I
hope that we are one in believing

that
we long for someone because

we
want to share our happiness with

that
special person

for
the rest of our lives…. 

 

NOT
BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE HAPPY 

but
we long for

someone
because

we
want to share our happiness with

that
special person

for
the rest of our lives….